At midnight on Tuesday or Monday, I don’t know the rules, fuck clocks; an idea for a commercial for ‘Rip Van Wafels’ popped into my head. Rip Van Wafels is a start up snack company that prides itself on being a delicious low sugar, low calorie, healthy snack alternative. A good friend was an early investor in Rip Van Wafels and for some reason at midnight my surrealist, ‘what if’ brain which probably encompasses some undiagnosed form of hypomania, decided Kirsten Wiig, formerly of SNL, and Sam Richardson, formerly of VEEP, he’s black, would be great for this part. (Nota Buena, I also believe Alison Brie, Trudy Campbell from Mad Men, would perform admirably but Sam Richardson cannot be replaced, his talent is severely undervalued in Hollywood). Rip Van Wafel’s operating revenue derives largely from its wholesale business model so upsetting their partners with a potentially offensive viral marketing strategy may not be in the best interests for them financially. Fuck it YOLO:
RIP VAN WAFELS MAIN CAMPAIGN
INT. SUBURBAN MORNING BLISS-DAY
Daryl, Ashley’s African American husband is seen carrying over a large stack of waffles from the kitchen counter setting them down on the kitchen table smiling, his eyes transfixed by anticipatory delights. He sits down and begins pouring his Aunt Jemima maple syrup all over his waffles. The front door is heard opening and slamming shut.
Hi Hunny! Im in the kitchen.
He takes a bite of his waffles and his eyes roll backwards.
Ashely, Daryl’s white suburban house wife, begins walking down the corridor to the kitchen while opening mail.
Babe, I really want to skip Michal and Erica’s thing tonight, cant we just lie and say we have Covid or some? AHHHHHHH!
She looks up from the mail to see the bottle of Aunt Jemima on the table.
Daryl turns in slow motion as he sees his wife leap towards him, knocking his fork out of his hand and throwing the plate full of waffles at the opposite wall. Daryl…